30 Something and Fabulous // Seattle Lifestyle Photographer
Ok but, how are we here again? I feel like I just wrote last year’s birthday post yesterday, but we’re here and it’s great. Getting older is weird and unyieldingly hard sometimes, but what a time to be alive. It’s been a year full of excitement, overwhelming to do lists, LOVE, new chapters and moving forward.
To be honest, I’m having a hard time thinking about what to write! Words of reflection are usually spilling out of me with stories about how much I’ve grown or new places I visited in the past year. This year is different though. This year I feel like I’ve reached a place of contentment and that’s new for me. I’m someone who generally spends her time working on planning for the future, reading any self growth material I can get my hands on and basically trying to be the best version of myself. However, 2010 was like floating on a cloud of peace.
// It’s like I just ran a marathon and now I’m resting my feet, my heart, my soul. I’m present and basking in the fruits of my freaking labor.
My mom used to tell me when I was in my 20s that my 30s were going to be incredible. That it’s an amazing time and that you stop caring about what people think and care more about what YOU think. A time of sinking into who you truly are and loving that person you discover without a need for external validation (AMEN!). She said it would be a time of huge growth, romance and acceptance. Well, she was right. That’s exactly what these past seven years have been and more (thanks mom).
I don’t feel like I’m running anymore. I don’t feel like I have a mountain of self work to do anymore. Of course I’m still striving to learn as much as I can about myself, relationships, LIFE, but something feels different now. I’ve worked so hard for all the beautiful things and people in my life and honestly, I just want to enjoy them. I like being ok with not hustling every second of the day or pushing myself to exhaustion to make others happy. I’ve learned what creating boundaries realllly means and wow has that been life changing.
That was my word for the year actually. Boundaries. I don’t feel guilty anymore for saying no to someone or cutting ties with toxic people. I cannot tell you how huge that is for me. I struggled so much with this growing up so to be in a place of such confidence feels crazy good. You know what else feels good? Being in love. And heaven and nature sing, and heaven and nature sing…. and heaveannnnn and nature siiing! Hahaha, pause for eye roll.
Can we just say…ch ch channnnges! People always say a lot can happen in a year, but holy shit I didn’t really understand that until this year. Like, what is buying a house? What is getting engaged? I have no idea, but I love it, I’ll tell you what. There is this beautiful man who wants to take care of me and I him and sometimes I still can’t believe it’s real. I know I could have spent another 10 years on my own and been happy in a lot of ways, but this is what my path was leading me towards all along and I am just tickled pink at that reality. I mean, the man cooks for me, guys. Bless him for reheating my coffee 14 times every morning, for giving me back rubs and cooking me dinner and giving me an insurmountable amount of hugs and kisses. Most of all, he makes me feel so incredibly safe to be 100% myself and be exactly who I am and THAT is the gift of Zachary Kilcer. Some would say he is the gift that keeps on giving, but I’ll let you decide for yourself. Love, love, love him.
When I look back at my life just three years ago, I see a girl who knew she wanted more, but didn’t know what that looked like or what that meant. She just knew she had to start exploring and researching and reading and asking a lot of questions. I am so grateful for these years in Seattle that have shaped me and brought me so much love. This next chapter is going to be really amazing and I can’t wait to bring you along with me :)